Be Bold. Be Awesome.

014+Be+Bold+1

Have you ever noticed that you don’t know you’re not being something, until you do something that reminds you of who you used to be?

Not clear? Let me try that again.

Earlier today, I made a bold move. Took a bold action. Not necessarily an unusual thing for me to do. Except…after I did it…I suddenly realized I hadn’t felt that feeling that I was feeling in that moment, in a very long time. It doesn’t matter what the thing was that I did. The point is, that in the doing of the thing, I was struck with how long it’s been since I’ve felt that way.

I took a few hits over the past year. Big ones. NFL Superbowl worthy hits. Life started to seem harder…And by harder, I mean…it became easier to call in sick, or stay in bed, or in my pajamas watching Netflix all day. It became easier than allowing another hit. No way could my body take another hit. If I holed up at home, and didn’t put myself out there, in anyway, perhaps the hits would stop.

What’s funny, is that I never stopped preaching the importance of being bold. Of stepping in. Of leaping. Of “going for it”. It just took me until today to realize I haven’t been living it. Whoa. Big. BIG personal integrity issue for me to address. I’ve always prided myself on the fact that I’m someone who lives life on the court, playing the game, doing the things, taking the risks…and yet. I stopped and I didn’t even notice.

I think that’s the saddest realization of all. I stopped and I didn’t even notice. I went from a techni-colour life, back to a black and white one, and didn’t notice. Now, I know I’m not alone in this. We all do it. At different times in life, things happen, and we cocoon into our ‘safe zone’. We all have one. Mine sounds a little bit like “I am never going through that again.” Whatever “that” is…we’ve all been there. We all have made decisions that make us take a few steps back. It’s the act of being human. It’s just what we do.

We get our hearts broken. We lose a parent. We lose our job. We cheat on someone. We wrong someone else, and a list of a thousand other “we” sentences. And then, we shut down. We stop growing. We stop showing up. We stop participating in life. And we don’t even know we are doing it. Not until the moment something shifts. Like the subtle shift that happened for me today.

I have been afraid to put myself out there. To risk looking bad. To risk being hurt. To risk…anything. It was subtle. I took the necessary time I needed to deal with what I needed to deal with. And only today did i see the residual effects. The lingering of the fear. Our unconscious is very powerful, so if our brains are telling us not to take the risk, we won’t, and we tell ourselves it was a “good” decision.

Ever notice, when you have a decision to make, you think about it, and you stew over it, and you convince yourself you’re not ready…and then the opportunity passes you by.  That’s some old thought/experience that’s back there, making the decision for us. In my case, I’ve built a proverbial iron cage around my heart, even though on the outside it looks like my heart is wide open to every single experience, it’s not – It’s locked up tight. I can’t let anyone get in there…every corner, and crevice is sealed tight.

But for what? What am I saving it for? I like to think that I want to be thoroughly used up when I die…and yet…I’m unwilling to unlock the one piece of me that matters the most. The one piece of me that has me be out in the world, doing all the things I am so passionate about.

**side note – I’ve been obsessively listening to this song called “The History of my Heart” from the Nashville Soundtrack. Yes. That’s right. I said Nashville. I can’t get enough of that show. I am obsessed with that show. When I’m not watching that show, I’m thinking about that show. When I’m watching something else, I feel like I’m cheating on that show. Go ahead and judge me. I’m awesome. I can handle it.

Anyway…I’ve been obsessively listening to this song, and while it’s mostly speaking about love lost…It’s also about that no matter where we go, no matter who we are with, no matter what happened…that experience will stay with us. Because it is a part of who we are. Our history. It’s all a part of our history, and always will be.

Which means we are creating our history every single moment, of every single day. As someone said to me this afternoon, “when you’re on your deathbed, you don’t want to wish you had…” There is something to be said for spontaneous moments, and inspiration. If you’re not inspired by your own self…do something about that. Believe me, you’ll walk with a new spring in your step. You’ll feel proud. You’ll walk taller.  You’ll be owning that awesome of yours.

And best of all…you’ll feel more alive. And by you, I actually mean me. I promise.

Rita xo

 

 

There Is Always A Brightside

Y’know what I’ve noticed? People have a hard time finding the good in something when it happens to them. We have no problem finding something for someone else to be grateful for, but it’s tougher when something happens to us. This afternoon, just as I was leaving for lunch, I got a parking ticket. It’s a $32 parking ticket and I still had half a day of parking left to pay for when I returned from lunch. I yelled to the guy that I was coming, but he quickly finished writing out the note, and ran. He actually ran away as I was walking towards him. Poor guy. He must’ve thought he was in some danger. It took me quite some time to shake off the “he just ran away from me” thing. I took it very personally. I was 12 minutes late getting back to my car. I figured I’d chance it and it didn’t work out in my favour. Then I texted my friend and told her i was having a hard time finding a brightside.  It’s possible I texted the wrong friend because she wanted to burn his house down for me…which is an awesome characteristic to have in a friend should you ever need someone to do that. So she couldn’t find a bright side either.

But have you ever noticed? If you’re worried about something…say you’re worried about money, or a debt you have to pay. You can spend so much time worrying about that, and forget that there are so many things to be grateful for.

Two weeks ago, I was flying to Portland to attend the World Domination Summit for the 4th time. It’s generally an easy bet that when you fly out on the first flight of the day, you’re going to get to where you’re going pretty drama free. Portland is 1 hour and 15 minutes by plane away from where I am. It took me 12 hours to get there that day. Lots of circumstances happened. The first flight of the day had mechanical issues so they couldn’t fly. They were re-booking people, but forgot to re-book me. By the time they did get to me, after I checked in with them, all the flights were sold out. They had to find me a completely different airline. They lost my bag. I had to pay for my bag twice since I was now on a new airline…I got a food voucher thanks to the kindness of the person working behind the counter, and then the security people in Seattle took my food away from me. Because..of course. It all had to happen so I could have one of the most impacting weekends of my life. While I would have completely enjoyed my breakfast date with friends when I arrived in Portland as planned, and the burrito bowl I was planning on having at Chipotle and the time I was going to spend shopping…I’m not sure that I would have appreciated it as much once I got there.

So much gets taken for granted when things just go the way we plan for them to go. It’s when they don’t go according to plan that we really get to be extraordinary humans.  In the face of all of those things, I got to know the woman who was helping me, she had my back. She was going to make sure I was getting to where I wanted to go. She even hugged me when they found my bag and wished me well on my journey. And then a little while later, because I was still laughing and joking with the person checking me on my other flight with a completely different airline…she waived my baggage fee because there was no way in “hell” she was going to let me pay for it again. Bright side. Bright side. Bright side. I got to be awesome with those people when so many aren’t, especially at airports, and they had a chance to contribute to me which is what all humans want an opportunity to do.

The next time something goes array, or doesn’t go according to plan, or you lock your keys in your car, or the power goes out, or you miss your flight, or you don’t get the job you really wanted, or you run out of gas, or you wake up in the middle of the night and can’t get back to sleep, or your phone dies while you’re waiting at the dentist’s office, or you’re at the dentist’s office…or any other number of things happen…look for a brightside. I bet you’ll be able to find one if you look for it.

Turn it into a game. Find one. Come tell me about it. I love brightside stories. Especially when the odds are stacked against you.

Rita xo

We Are Not Our Failures (WDS2013 recap)

everything in moderation

Showing up at the World Domination Summit this year was a tough call for me. Although I went last year and had the most amazing and life altering experience, and bought my ticket right there on the spot when we were given the opportunity, how things rolled out wasn’t exactly how I would’ve thought they would’ve rolled out. Funny how life keeps handing us circumstances and we have to keep dealing with them. Or we don’t. I suppose all of life is a choice isn’t it?  I had enough circumstances in my life over the past couple of months that technically, I could’ve gotten away with not going. I could’ve just cancelled the hotel, and lost the price of the ticket, and not gone. Especially since the circumstances just kept piling up.

What kind of circumstances? Well. The things that happen in life. We roll along, everything’s good, and then BAM! We get hit in the face with unexpected things that happen in life. In my case, the first of many circumstances was the unexpected ending of my relationship. That was just the first in a series of things that have happened over the past couple of months. I walked into WDS heartbroken on so many levels. So. Many. Levels. It’s been a very very long time since I’ve been this unhappy for this long a stretch of time.

So far, all the blog posts and tweets and Facebook status updates have all pointed to “WDS is about the people.” I would have to second that. It really is about the people. There is a level of conversation that happens in a few minutes with strangers that doesn’t happen in everyday life.  We are all there to get connected.  To bond and fall in love with all of those like minded individuals who make us grateful to be alive.

We learned about how to be happy, and how to dream bigger, how to speak with confidence, and let go of fear. We heard people talk about meet ups and catch ups and all kinds of ups. I saw people crying in corners because they were so moved by the experience, and other times I saw people crying because they weren’t sure they belonged here…to this tribe of people. I say, if you were there, you belonged.

I didn’t think I belonged at the weekend either. I had a lot of thoughts about skipping out of it.  Staying in my hotel room until it was all over.

Walking into the weekend,  I felt like a failure.

Throughout the course of the weekend, I cried a few tears. Had a lot of conversations. Was moved by so many of the speakers. Especially Jia Jiang who spoke about 100 Days of Rejection Therapy. How unbelievably awesome of him to go out into the world and try and get rejected as a way of working through his fear of rejection. So many of us, including me, see rejection as a failure.

We don’t get the job we want.

We failed.

We don’t get the girl/guy we want.

We failed.

We don’t get (fill in the blank).

We failed.

And then, Donald Miller took the stage and put this slide up on the screen.

we are not our failures

What if he’s right? What if we are not our failures? What if what we are is simply extraordinary people doing extraordinary things? What then? What if feeling like a failure is a whole lot different than actually BEING a failure?

He shared about a relationship he had that he royally effed up…you could tell, he has regret. Remorse about how it went. But he did the work. He did what he needed to do and only a week before he gave this talk, got engaged to his lady.  I needed to hear his words. I needed to know that what’s going on with me, isn’t something that is personal to me. It’s more common than we think.

Yes, there are a lot of people who think that they can’t go to the conference until they quit their day jobs. Or until they find their passion. Or until they start traveling or whatever their reason is. None of that is true. I haven’t quit my day job. I’m not some social media expert. Sure, I blog. A lot. But I’m not expert at much of anything. Except life. I have a commitment to put an end to bullying. I don’t know how. But I do know that bullying has got to stop. That’s what I’m working towards. A world where people express love more than anything else. Freely. Without judgement. Whether that expression is in their art, their work, or their words. It doesn’t matter. I just want there to be more love in the world.

Even if it means I’ll end up heartbroken more often.

I think it’s safe to say that WDS is the epitome of awesome. Some of the best people in the world coming together to facilitate making the world a better place. A Conference for Good, if you will.

And one very powerful takeaway? That every single person in that auditorium wanted me to win. No matter what I said, or did, they would’ve cheered for me, even if they didn’t know me. Because that is who these people are. I spend a lot of time in my life believing in others. Making sure that the people in my life know that there is nothing they can’t succeed at because I believe in them. Well, I have to tell you, this was my very first time being fully present to the experience of that for myself. And for each and every single person in that room.

At WDS, you can’t fail. It’s not even a possibility.

And what’s beautiful, is once we leave Portland and come home…all over the world…it’s up to us to keep that magic alive.

And THAT is where we get to own our awesome.

I walked into WDS2013 questioning the goodness in the world. Wondering if I was wrong in where I was standing for the world to be a better place and that there is a lot of love when you look for it. I walked into the weekend wondering if the cynics in my life were right. Maybe the world is full of people who are just out to get you. Maybe nothing does come for free. Maybe, people really are the opposite of good.

And then…I spent the weekend with enough people to remind me that my view of the world is MY creation and yes, although there are people who may not want to be responsible for hurting others, or people who may hurt us…it doesn’t change the fact that if you allow yourself to see it, the world is filled with richness, goodness and wonder.

I don’t think I have enough words to capture, how grateful I am to have my faith in the world, restored.

go forth and dominate the world through good things.

rita

Regrets Are Not Awesome, But You Are.

note to selfEver do something you regret?

Ever have that experience where you’ve done something and you feel like you failed so badly, something that got so messy you may NEVER ever want to do it again?

Ever tell yourself that you suck?

Doing something you regret doesn’t make you any less awesome. You just did something that you regret.

You didn’t fail at anything. You did something and it didn’t turn out the way you wanted it to.  Or it got really messy. A relationship ended and it tore you up inside. Or you tore up another. You had a conversation with someone that didn’t go as intended. You hurt someone’s feelings. You didn’t mean to. But you did. Is there anything worse than hurting someone’s feelings? Yep. There sure is. Having someone be disappointed in you. I die a little bit inside each time that happens.

How often do you tell yourself you suck for something you did? Something that really just shows you you’re human. That you have weaknesses just like everybody else?  Sometimes we do things so we are forced to confront just how human we are. I don’t know about you, but I like to spend much of my life making sure I never look bad, that no one is ever disappointed in me, that every conversation I have is a good one, that I never hurt anyone’s feelings…What I have learned along the way is that it’s not possible.

Sometimes, I make bad choices. Sometimes. I do something that goes against everything I am. And it doesn’t take away from my own awesome. It just means that I am aware of my humanness. My vulnerabilities. Ugh. How much do we dislike that “v” word?

I had a friend call me yesterday, and I suggested that perhaps it’s been a very long time since he’s been excited or ALIVE about anything. He was quick to agree. So, I gave him some homework. Some awesome homework. I told him to go and do something bad** every single day for the next 3 weeks.  Today, he had a 5 minute cold shower. Yep. I think he’s got the hang of it. He hasn’t been being his awesome self for many months, and he knows it. And he seized an opportunity to be that. THAT is awesome.

Sometimes, we over think things. Sometimes, we think about them so much we don’t do them. Sometimes, we think about them so much that we DO them and then we regret doing them.

Just remember..every single thing you do in life, adds to your level of awesome.

The real question here is: wouldn’t you rather be doing things that will alter your experience of life? Wouldn’t you rather do things that make you happy to be alive?

Do you wanna die happy?

Or do you wanna die wondering? Wishing? Hoping? Regretting?

I bet I know what you’ll say…

Go. Be awesome.

Rita

PS You may regret the thing you did. But it will force you to confront that part of yourself that you’ve never looked at before. It’ll shine a light in a corner of who you are where there’s never been light before. So, before you try and shake shake shake that memory like you would an etch-a-sketch, just remember, you can choose to learn from the experience, or you can stick your head in the sand. Either way…it already happened.

 

Doubt is Not Awesome, But YOU Are.

Awesome is a choice

Ever have one of those days, where you’re doubting everything that you do? Any decision you make, you think might have been the wrong one?

That no matter what you do, it’ll never be the right thing?  That no matter what you say, it’ll never be the right thing to say?

To be honest, I’d be surprised if you weren’t nodding in agreement or recognition of what I’m saying so far.

The beautiful thing about being a human being is that no matter what colour or race we are, doubt is something we have in common. It’s a Universal truth among us. We doubt the people in our lives. We doubt experiences. We doubt words. We doubt actions. And most importantly, we doubt ourselves.

You know what’s really great about doubt? It only takes mere seconds to be done with it.

Doubt means you’re trying something new and you don’t know how it’s going to turn out.

Doubt means you’re afraid that you’re going to eff things up. And you might. But it doesn’t matter, because you had the courage to give it a shot.

Feel free to feel doubt. There isn’t a cure for doubt. There’s simply doubt. And on the flip side of doubt is not doubt. I’m not sure what it is. Confidence? Surety? Certainty?

Maybe being confident, sure and certain about everything you do in life, makes it just a little bit less challenging? Or exciting? Maybe when you’re actually feeling doubt, it just brings you one step closer to the life you want to have.

It could be anything. From going bungy jumping naked (which a friend of mine just did yesterday!) to taking a trip you’ve only dreamed of…or maybe the thing you doubt is whether you have what it takes to be in a relationship with another human being.

Doubt just means you’re literally, one thought away from being awesome.

Maybe it’s true what they say? Maybe certainty is a ridiculous notion? Maybe if you already know how something is going to turn out, unless it’s a souffle, it’s not as mind blowing when you do it.

Go. Be. Awesome.

Rita

Be Awesome

How?

How do you be awesome?

You just be it.

There’s no secret formula. There’s no rule book. There’s not even a website or a fan page.

You just be awesome.

Here’s the thing that we don’t all get.

Being awesome is a choice. It’s about being kind and considerate and compassionate, and generous (with your time, love etc.). Being awesome is about putting good things into the world, because good things bring good things.

Being awesome is about being bold, and daring and courageous and kick a**.

Being awesome is about doing things others would only think about doing, doing what you say you’re going to do, even when you don’t feel like it.

Being awesome is easy.

my daily routineAll you have to do is get out of bed.

Smile at a few strangers.

Be nice to the person who makes your coffee/tea in the morning.

Pay a compliment to someone, and mean it.

Ask someone for a hug. Just because.

Pay attention to the little things in life that bring you joy. Life is made up of a whole lot of little things. If we find joy in those, we can’t help but enjoy the hell out of life.

If there’s one thing I’ve learned thus far, is that if you love life, life will love you back.

No question.

Being awesome is easy.

Just be.

Rita xo

go.be.awesome

 

If Not You…Then Who?

Sometimes, we can’t plan it…

Not that long ago, a young teenage girl not far from where I am, killed herself. She’d been bullied in school for quite some time, and she couldn’t take it anymore. We forget, that at that age, our friends, schoolmates, and now, social media, are our whole life. If we don’t have the acceptance of that triad, we have nothing. You might even say, she was bullied to death. I wept when I heard about it, and I watched what happened when a friend of hers created a page on Facebook so friends and family could grieve together, by posting photos and loving messages in her memory. Instead, what happened was, people continued to bully her. Even in death, the comments being made on that page, and on the photos were disturbing. I couldn’t read them. I couldn’t bring myself to know that this poor girl, even after she’d died, still had to undergo the criticism and scrutiny from people who hadn’t actually taken the time to get to know her. To make themselves feel better, they needed to make sure she felt bad about herself.

I shake my head as I write this. That this is what it’s come to. Being grateful to not be in highschool now. I want to cry when I think about my nephews in a few years, entering the schools when this is what is going on. I want to weep for them and for the terrible things that other kids may say to them. I’m not saying I was immune to it. I had some experiences with being bullied, and being mocked, and being made to cry. But never, EVER did I consider killing myself over it. That wasn’t what life was about back then.

It was just easier.

This past weekend, I shared about ownyourawesome while in a course, and doubled over in tears when I talked about the message I want to share with the world, and the world in which I am sharing it into. It doesn’t line up.

How can I possibly tell people that they are awesome and all the reasons why, when kids are literally killing themselves. How can I possibly put out a book telling people how to be awesome, when this is the world we live in? How can I do it? How can I risk being heartbroken every single time someone kills themselves because they couldn’t see how brilliant they really are, or because someone told them they aren’t? The death of the teenage girl, left me heartbroken. But I couldn’t tell anyone that I’d taken it so personally because I didn’t know her. It sounded crazy, in my own head.

See, that’s the thing about not saying something out loud. It makes us sound crazy. Where, once I said it out loud, I could then start to think about something else.

Like..maybe I COULD take the message global.

But I couldn’t see it until I said it out loud. Until I shed the tears and said the words. That I felt I had failed this young girl, and all those who may come after her. For not getting the message out fast enough.  I cried until all I could say was “Who am I to tell anyone anything about anything…”

And the woman who was leading the course, said to me…“Rita. If not you…then who?”

That’s all I needed to hear. My heart is going to break every single time something like this happens. My life is going to alter every single time I hear another story of another person (child or adult) being bullied or taunted for being different, or for being themselves. My conversations are going to get deeper. More fulfilling. My message is going to get out there.

Why? Because THAT is what I said matters to me.

So if there’s something that you want to do that will ultimately change the world you live in…do it. Let’s do it together. Let’s take on a world that isn’t set up for awesome, and plant a flag.

Why? Because we said it mattered.

Anything other than that is just a bunch of background noise.

go be awesome.

Rita

No Really. You ARE Awesome

Ever notice, when someone pays you a compliment, you brush it off and say something like “Well I was going to do it anyway…” Or “I was going that way anyway..” Or even…”Well you’d do the same for me.”  Why is that?  Why do you think we can’t just muster up a simple thank you when someone says something to us that resembles a compliment?

The other day, my neighbour and I had some work done on our shared driveway. A new garden bed with some beautiful new plants, and we had the hedge trimmed. The fella who did all the work, he called me at work a bit later in the day and said that he’d blown all the leaves off my front lawn, and moved a few plants around to better locations and cleaned up a few other things (which was over and above what we were paying him to do). To which, of course, I replied with a wholehearted “Wow, THANK YOU!” to which he responded by saying…”I had the blower out anyway.”

Do you know that when you say something like that in response to a person showing you gratitude, it not only takes away from the great thing you did, but it also doesn’t give you the opportunity to be awesome (even if it means you being uncomfortable for a minute) and also, after doing all these great things for me, completely unsolicited, and then saying “I had the blower out anyway.” leaves me with the experience that I’m actually not that important and you would’ve done it for anyone.

See where I’m going with this?  When you do something for someone, you do it because you are a kind human being and you want to do something nice for someone. When that someone you did the nice thing for, wants to thank you. Please do not take that opportunity away from them. It isn’t about buttering you up, and it isn’t about making sure that you stay interested (if it happens to be someone you’re dating), and it isn’t for any other reason but to express gratitude.

Some might say the ability to express gratitude is an important characteristic.

I’m going to go out on a limb and say that accepting gratitude is actually a bigger deal.

So often, we are quick to brush off all the awesome that others see in us.

Can we not do that?

People of the world, are aching to contribute to each other. Some might contribute by doing something nice, others may contribute by expressing gratitude in regards to who you are for them, and how much they appreciate you.

Let them. Believe me, it’s as much for them as it is for you.

You both get to walk away feeling pretty damn awesome.

Okay?

Can we start today?

Great.

Thanks.

Rita xo

How to Be Awesome When Life Goes Sideways

Listen.  Life is going to kick us in the shins every now and again.  Things are going to go sideways more often than we can count.

Relationships will ebb and flow, and we’ll have a hard time not eating that extra piece of chocolate cake, or the job we apply for isn’t going to happen.

Friends are going to talk behind our backs, we’re going to injure ourselves at the gym, or on the run, or getting off the couch, or heading downstairs to do laundry (trust me..I tore my Achilles taking a step down to finish doing laundry – CRAZY!), and we’re going to get down on ourselves with a whole lot of negative self talk when our focus shifts from what matters to us, to something a little bit more manageable and trivial.

In my case, the people at TEDx haven’t been in touch and they are announcing their speakers starting next week.  If I were going to be one of their speakers, I would’ve heard from them already.  A really good reason for me not to be awesome don’t you think?

When in reality, I had the balls to send in a speaker application. Did you hear that.  I. HAD. THE. BALLS. TO APPLY.  THAT is what makes me awesome! The other day, a friend of mine, sent me an email.  She often sends me emails, randomly, so the other day was no exception.  In the email she’d sent a link. The email said “I think you need to apply to be on the Jeff Probst show.” So, I opened up the link, and I applied. There’s a question on the application that says “Share your story”…so I shared a story. I didn’t know exactly what story they wanted, as I had no context for why she wanted me to apply. But I did it anyway.

Why?  Because life is so much more fun being a YES than a maybe, or an outright no. 

There is so much more to life than the neighbour keeping you up at night, or a job not being gotten, or a bill not getting paid, or a car breaking down, or a flat tire.  Even when all of those things happen, we still have the option. Do we keep being awesome, or do we let those things take us sideways? Is life really about circumstances? Are we only temporarily awesome?  Are we fair weather awesome? No. It’s all in perspective. Choice.

One of my most favorite things is when someone says “I’ve had the worst day ever!” And I ask “Tell me what happened…” And they start off with “Well my car wouldn’t start…” Or the one that always makes me smile on the inside “Someone cut me off on the way to work this morning…” Then I say “And then what happened…?” And they say…”Well, nothing. But the day just sucked.”

We all have the option to hit the reset button at any time. There’s no rule book that states that just because you got cut off on the way to work, or you missed your bus, or your car wouldn’t start, or you had a flat tire, that says you no longer have to be awesome in the rest of your life. Not even close.

I used to be one of those people.  Something slightly off kilter would happen, and it would make me cranky and turn my entire day into a schmozzle.

Then, something else happened. I started to see my life differently.  I started to notice that something happened, and I could let it make me cranky for the rest of the day and impact every single person I came into contact with through the entire day OR I could take that thing that happened, look at it for a few minutes, examine it, turn it around, see it from another angle, maybe talk to someone about it, and then, hit reset.

Nothing says we have to let one bad thing take us out of the rest of our lives.  Missing the bus doesn’t have to be a bad thing. Maybe you missed the first bus so you could get on the next one, and meet a super cute guy…or maybe you got a flat tire, so you wouldn’t be on the road at the same time a house is being moved which would make you late for work anyway. There are so many other perspectives. So many other ways of seeing life.

We all have moments where life goes sideways.  We all have that in common.  It happens.  Nothing can change that it happens. It just does. It’s not personal. It just happens. And contrary to popular belief, it happens to good people.

It’s how we interpret what happened that sets the stage for life.

What if the awesome meter was always set to awesome?  What if we could alter our own experiences of life simply by changing the setting?  What if you just shifted your perspective slightly from what happened being a personal attack to a life experience that could potentially teach you something?  What if your level of brilliance had nothing to do with the “what happened’s”?  What if you were amazing simply because you were?

I bet you’d walk taller. I bet you’d strut more.

So. Here’s my challenge to you. The next time something happens, and you see your day/life going sideways faster than you can say supercalafragalisticexpialadotious, remember the reset button. Take a deep breath. Sit up, and put your shoulders back, and reset yourself to awesome.

go be awesome

Rita

Hiding Out From Your Awesome

Some might say that it’s impossible to own your awesome 24/7. Likely Some would be right. However, let’s take a look at what it might take to make you awesome always. No matter what.

Last Sunday, I had a date. I’d been talking to this guy for over a week via email and text and on the phone. In theory, this was the guy.  Sunday morning, I woke up and I was paralyzed by fear and anxiety. What if he doesn’t like me? Ridiculous right? But true. Why is this significant?  Because if I were truly owning my awesome, it wouldn’t matter. As long as I went into the date being awesome, it wouldn’t matter if he liked me or not. I was still awesome.

It was such a revelation for me.  I got ready for the date, showed up for it completely being awesome, spent 3 hours with him, and it turns out he’s not the guy. But you know, I never doubted my awesome even for a minute.

So often we think we have to have it all together, we have to have it all figured out, we couldn’t possibly share what’s going on for us if it’s not all neatly tied up in a bow. So, we struggle, and suffer in silence and alone, when all we really need to do is pick up the phone and get it all out. Let me let you in on a little secret, and one I had to learn the hard way: We never have it all figured out.  We never have it all together.  And we especially don’t know how it’s all going to turn out. So just out yourself when you’re struggling through something. Life is not worth the suffering.

This date I was on last weekend, one of the things he said to me was “You can’t sell awesome!” very adamantly, and very righteously. He didn’t stop long enough for me to share with him the premise and context and mission of what I’m creating here, but he was simply convinced that you can’t sell awesome. The great thing is I am not trying to sell it.  My intention is to become a living, breathing example of what is possible in the whole world of awesome which then gives others the courage to be that as well.

Please don’t get me wrong. I am awesome, because I say so. And I don’t always say so. I have to remind myself, and consider it a practice just as often as not. It isn’t a natural state. But it’s a choice. I don’t often wake up happy, although after 7 hours solid sleep, sometimes I actually do, and then I choose. How do I want this day to go?  Do I look on the bright side of everything?  Or do I choose something else?

Last night, the story broke about Lance Armstrong being stripped of all of his Tour de France titles and banned for life from a sport that he brought to the surface. Why?  Because the USADA believes he was doping during his 9 different wins. After years of testing, there is no basis for the allegations, however, he’s done. He is stepping away from the “fight” because of the toll it’s taken on his family and himself. The man has changed the face of cancer, and he’s made a gigantic difference in the world, yet he can’t win this one. So, he’s “giving up the fight”. Does it mean he is guilty? Hell no. What I see is Lance Armstrong owning his awesome. It doesn’t matter if we agree or disagree. The bottom line is he’s awesome, not because you say so, but because he does.

I mention it only because it’s a great example of what it means to be that. To stand in that, even if the rest of the world doesn’t agree.

Owning your awesome takes something. It means stepping outside your comfort zone. It means letting yourself look bad, and flailing and being responsible for the flailing, it means allowing yourself to be human and awesome all at the same time.

Here’s another perfect example of a modern day fairy tale where it took a stern talking to and a talisman to get the damsel back into her own awesome A Deva Tale by Sandi Amorim.

How have you been hiding out from your own awesome? Care to out yourself here?

go be awesome

Rita xo