Regrets Are Not Awesome, But You Are.

note to selfEver do something you regret?

Ever have that experience where you’ve done something and you feel like you failed so badly, something that got so messy you may NEVER ever want to do it again?

Ever tell yourself that you suck?

Doing something you regret doesn’t make you any less awesome. You just did something that you regret.

You didn’t fail at anything. You did something and it didn’t turn out the way you wanted it to.  Or it got really messy. A relationship ended and it tore you up inside. Or you tore up another. You had a conversation with someone that didn’t go as intended. You hurt someone’s feelings. You didn’t mean to. But you did. Is there anything worse than hurting someone’s feelings? Yep. There sure is. Having someone be disappointed in you. I die a little bit inside each time that happens.

How often do you tell yourself you suck for something you did? Something that really just shows you you’re human. That you have weaknesses just like everybody else?  Sometimes we do things so we are forced to confront just how human we are. I don’t know about you, but I like to spend much of my life making sure I never look bad, that no one is ever disappointed in me, that every conversation I have is a good one, that I never hurt anyone’s feelings…What I have learned along the way is that it’s not possible.

Sometimes, I make bad choices. Sometimes. I do something that goes against everything I am. And it doesn’t take away from my own awesome. It just means that I am aware of my humanness. My vulnerabilities. Ugh. How much do we dislike that “v” word?

I had a friend call me yesterday, and I suggested that perhaps it’s been a very long time since he’s been excited or ALIVE about anything. He was quick to agree. So, I gave him some homework. Some awesome homework. I told him to go and do something bad** every single day for the next 3 weeks.  Today, he had a 5 minute cold shower. Yep. I think he’s got the hang of it. He hasn’t been being his awesome self for many months, and he knows it. And he seized an opportunity to be that. THAT is awesome.

Sometimes, we over think things. Sometimes, we think about them so much we don’t do them. Sometimes, we think about them so much that we DO them and then we regret doing them.

Just remember..every single thing you do in life, adds to your level of awesome.

The real question here is: wouldn’t you rather be doing things that will alter your experience of life? Wouldn’t you rather do things that make you happy to be alive?

Do you wanna die happy?

Or do you wanna die wondering? Wishing? Hoping? Regretting?

I bet I know what you’ll say…

Go. Be awesome.

Rita

PS You may regret the thing you did. But it will force you to confront that part of yourself that you’ve never looked at before. It’ll shine a light in a corner of who you are where there’s never been light before. So, before you try and shake shake shake that memory like you would an etch-a-sketch, just remember, you can choose to learn from the experience, or you can stick your head in the sand. Either way…it already happened.

 

Do You Know What Makes You Awesome?

Ever wonder what it is that makes you awesome?

When someone says “Hey..you’re awesome!” Do you ever wonder how they know that?  How they could possibly know that you’re awesome, without really knowing you?

Or maybe you’ve done something nice for someone, and how they thank you is by telling you that they think you’re awesome.

who's awesome

Some might say that the word is overused so has lost it’s power. I say it isn’t used nearly enough! If everyone in the world knew they were awesome, I’d tell you the word was now being overused. Until then…

It isn’t like there’s a guide book where you can look under the tab that says “when someone thinks you’re awesome” to tell you why you are. So you can be crystal clear about it.

It’s tough for us to believe someone when they say something like that to us. Awesome? You think I’m awesome? Me? Really?

Well let me tell you a little bit about what makes you awesome.

1.  It’s your willingness to thank someone, even if you don’t believe them, when they say something nice about you, to you.

2.  When you hear about a challenge, one that makes you a little bit nauseous, you do it even though you’re scared. Because that’s who you are. You’re all about jumping outside of your comfort zone. You may crawl back to it every now and again, ’cause life sure can be a little bit scary at times, but you’ll always venture back out to take on something new.

3.  You are always willing to learn something new, about yourself, or the world you live in. You’re curious, you ask questions and you’re willing to look. Even if sometimes, it’s uncomfortable.

4.  You are constantly doing what you said you’d do. Even if you just said it to yourself.  You keep promises whenever possible. You will do your best to never let anyone down, and if that does happen, you’ll be sure to be responsible for it. You call when you say you will. You show up when you say you will. You go when you say you will, even if you don’t want to.

5.  You are willing to look foolish/stupid/crazy. You are so willing to try new things, even things you know you can’t do, and are willing to risk looking foolish. It takes a special kind of person to be okay with not looking good.  Whether it be by falling in love (again), or quitting your job and not knowing what you’ll do next, or taking on a challenge that you are pretty sure you can’t finish. The glory isn’t in the finishing. It’s in the willingness to try.

6.  You have a desire to make a difference in the world, in your life, and/or in the lives of the people in your life.

7.  You know that the best way to have your life rock, is by making yourself a priority, your first priority. Taking care of yourself, means you have more room to take care of others, which is the path to having your relationships work. It doesn’t matter that you think it’s selfish. It kind of is.  It’s the best kind of selfish there is. When YOU start to put yourself first, others will follow in your footsteps. It’s a win/win.

8.  Believing in the dreams of others, cheering them on, making sure they know they are not alone, and that they CAN do anything, is a super power of the awesome.

9.  Love. Love is another super power of the awesome.

10. You know that being awesome, simply means that those around you, those you come into contact with, they get to own their awesome too.

No then…go forth and be awesome.

Rita xo

Don’t Forget To Be Awesome

Yesterday, I got a call from a friend who wanted some “advice” on how to maintain his schedule, especially in regards to his workouts. He is committed to sleeping for 8 hours, and  working out in the morning. Often he wakes up tired and doesn’t want to work out, and rather than managing his schedule the night before to ensure he gets his 8 hours AND still gets up in the morning to work out he stays in bed.  Imagine how crazy making that must be!  He wanted to know how I manage to go and work out AND be so excited about it.

There’s no easy answer to this. Exercise sucks. For most of us. I don’t really know anyone who loves getting up when it’s cold and dark and raining or God forbid – snowing, to get out of a nice cozy warm bed, and go do what you said you would do. But here’s the thing. If you said you would do something, and then you don’t do it, something happens.

For the most part, I like to think of the world, and the people in it, as kind and generous. We may not always be that for ourselves, and sometimes, we may not even be that to each other, but that’s how I like to view the world. We make promises to each other, and we do what we can to keep them. And sometimes, we are unable to keep them and then we apologize which is never bad. But what about those promises that we make to ourselves?  What about those?  You know the ones.

I’ll work out starting tomorrow.

Tomorrow I’m not going to eat out.

Tomorrow, I”m going to join the gym.

Tomorrow night I’m going to make sure I get 8 hours of sleep.

Tomorrow, I’m going to respond to that email.

Tomorrow.

And then, tomorrow happens, and we stay up too late, and wake up tired, so we can’t go work out, and after work we’re too tired from all the food we ate that we shouldn’t have eaten, that we just want to go home and have a nap, so maybe, I’ll wait until tomorrow to join the gym.  One more day isn’t going to kill me.

But what if it does?  What if the words you say to yourself are equally as valuable as the words and promises you say to another?  Why is it easier for us to disappoint ourselves but we try and avoid that with others?

Why do your words not matter to you?

Something starts to happen inside when we stop honouring our own promises to ourselves. We start to doubt ourselves.  We start to relate to ourselves as someone who is unreliable. We start to convince others that we can’t be relied upon. People start to stop believing us when we promise something. We take on some kind of fitness challenge, and secretly, others are thinking in the back of their minds “Yah..sure.” We start to see ourselves in a lesser light.

We stop being awesome.

All because we said something and then we didn’t do it.

We start to tolerate it, more and more, until we stop making promises. Until we can’t bring ourselves to take on another challenge, because even we know we won’t do it.

When deep down, all we really want is to be awesome.

Our words are what make us awesome. Who we be in the world, is all based on our words. We speak it. We be it. We are awesome.

So please.  Don’t forget to be awesome.

It’s what makes the experience of life exceptional.

go be awesome

Rita

Hiding Out From Your Awesome

Some might say that it’s impossible to own your awesome 24/7. Likely Some would be right. However, let’s take a look at what it might take to make you awesome always. No matter what.

Last Sunday, I had a date. I’d been talking to this guy for over a week via email and text and on the phone. In theory, this was the guy.  Sunday morning, I woke up and I was paralyzed by fear and anxiety. What if he doesn’t like me? Ridiculous right? But true. Why is this significant?  Because if I were truly owning my awesome, it wouldn’t matter. As long as I went into the date being awesome, it wouldn’t matter if he liked me or not. I was still awesome.

It was such a revelation for me.  I got ready for the date, showed up for it completely being awesome, spent 3 hours with him, and it turns out he’s not the guy. But you know, I never doubted my awesome even for a minute.

So often we think we have to have it all together, we have to have it all figured out, we couldn’t possibly share what’s going on for us if it’s not all neatly tied up in a bow. So, we struggle, and suffer in silence and alone, when all we really need to do is pick up the phone and get it all out. Let me let you in on a little secret, and one I had to learn the hard way: We never have it all figured out.  We never have it all together.  And we especially don’t know how it’s all going to turn out. So just out yourself when you’re struggling through something. Life is not worth the suffering.

This date I was on last weekend, one of the things he said to me was “You can’t sell awesome!” very adamantly, and very righteously. He didn’t stop long enough for me to share with him the premise and context and mission of what I’m creating here, but he was simply convinced that you can’t sell awesome. The great thing is I am not trying to sell it.  My intention is to become a living, breathing example of what is possible in the whole world of awesome which then gives others the courage to be that as well.

Please don’t get me wrong. I am awesome, because I say so. And I don’t always say so. I have to remind myself, and consider it a practice just as often as not. It isn’t a natural state. But it’s a choice. I don’t often wake up happy, although after 7 hours solid sleep, sometimes I actually do, and then I choose. How do I want this day to go?  Do I look on the bright side of everything?  Or do I choose something else?

Last night, the story broke about Lance Armstrong being stripped of all of his Tour de France titles and banned for life from a sport that he brought to the surface. Why?  Because the USADA believes he was doping during his 9 different wins. After years of testing, there is no basis for the allegations, however, he’s done. He is stepping away from the “fight” because of the toll it’s taken on his family and himself. The man has changed the face of cancer, and he’s made a gigantic difference in the world, yet he can’t win this one. So, he’s “giving up the fight”. Does it mean he is guilty? Hell no. What I see is Lance Armstrong owning his awesome. It doesn’t matter if we agree or disagree. The bottom line is he’s awesome, not because you say so, but because he does.

I mention it only because it’s a great example of what it means to be that. To stand in that, even if the rest of the world doesn’t agree.

Owning your awesome takes something. It means stepping outside your comfort zone. It means letting yourself look bad, and flailing and being responsible for the flailing, it means allowing yourself to be human and awesome all at the same time.

Here’s another perfect example of a modern day fairy tale where it took a stern talking to and a talisman to get the damsel back into her own awesome A Deva Tale by Sandi Amorim.

How have you been hiding out from your own awesome? Care to out yourself here?

go be awesome

Rita xo