There Is Nothing Awesome About…


Do you have relationships in your life where you leave feeling really great about yourself? You do, don’t you? Aren’t all relationships supposed to be like that? You get together and you feel really great about yourself, and each other.  You lift each other up.  And cheer each other on. You warm each other’s souls. You nourish each other. You know who each other is.

It doesn’t matter if you know their favorite colour, or where they were born, although there’s magic in that too. I’m talking about the real “know you”. They know who you are in the world. What you stand for. What matters to you. What makes you tick. What moves you, what touches you. How you’re inspired. They know all that. You’d think that it would be easy to know who someone is. Wouldn’t you?  People are generally easy to know.

But what do you do when you find someone who matters to you, but doesn’t get it. Doesn’t get what matters to you. Who you really are. That you’re not generous to make yourself look better. You’re generous because you want people to have a great life. There’s something about that. It’s really important to know that you’re appreciated for who you are. That who you are is why they love you. Why they want to be in your life. They want to be in your life because of how awesome you are.

There’s nothing sexy about keeping people in your life who don’t get you. Who don’t appreciate who you are. I know we all have them. We all have people in our lives who have been there for years and you have a lot of history, but they don’t always want to know who you’ve evolved into, if it doesn’t fit who they want you to be.  We’ve all had some form or another of that experience haven’t we?

Here’s the thing. We start to tolerate things that actually don’t work. The things that make us feel so much less than awesome. We start to step over things that hurt us, and we start to feel resentful. Resentment is a bitter pill. Resentment can literally, kill us. It hurts our hearts. It damages our souls. It makes our relationships harder. Getting to a place of realizing that the things that aren’t working are the things you’re tolerating. All the things that makes you awesome, suddenly start to slip away. Suddenly, the things that people admire most about you, or the things that inspire others, about you, are the things that start to disappear.  We start to try and prove who we are, which just begets more resentment.  And if we let that happen, in our primary relationships, we start to lose ourselves. It becomes increasingly more difficult to remember the things that matter, because all of our energy goes into proving something that should be obvious.

Do you know what I’m trying to say? We stay in relationships with people who don’t get who we are.

Which is worse than someone telling you they didn’t get you something for Christmas because they didn’t think of it.

It’s worse than swallowing a bunch of pills hoping someone else will die from it.  It’s too important.

Stop making it okay. Stop stepping over those things. Stop it. Stop taking the pills.

By stopping all of that, you can stop resentment in it’s tracks. Yes. It might be disappointing. It might also, make you really sad. You may even end up heart broken, but at the end of the day, heartbreak brought on by standing for who you are is a lot easier to deal with than heartbreak brought on by someone who will never appreciate what you contribute to the world.